What does the word purpose mean to you?
Does it illicit feelings of excitement and fulfilment?
Or does it bring a heaviness, anxiety or even a sense of failure?
I believe that purpose is a fundamental pillar of a joyful and fulfilling life, and yet our current interpretation of the word - driven by the coaching, holistic wellness and spiritual communities - has in my opinion driven many a seeker off-course and caused more confusion and pain than inspiration. The way the concept is bandied about can turn into a spiritual trap, which can have you in an endless loop for years.
Let me explain…
For a moment, let your mind wander back to bygone eras… perhaps a small village nestled at the foot of a hill. What would your purpose have been in this village life? Probably nothing more grandiose than to keep yourself and your family fed and safe, and to use whatever natural talents you had in service of your community. Maybe you were a hunter, maybe you had green fingers, or were naturally gifted at healing. Maybe your talent lay with working metal, or weaving cloth. You fit in wherever talent, skill and need dictated.
Fast forward to now, where us millennials were probably amongst the first generation of humans ever to have an endless smorgasbord of options available to them.
The world is your oyster was a phrase that was driven into me from an early age. Well meant, I know. And of course I am not complaining that I have the options that I do, or that I do not live in an age or region of the world where one bad growing season or a marauding band could end my life and my children’s.
But, I don’t think that the human brain is capable of holding so much vastness of choice. It’s not how we evolved. This is something entirely new. And our nervous systems do not have the capacity to contemplate possible career after career after career, without it causing at least some anxiety, confusion, and even an existential crisis. Add to all this choice the immense pressure to “figure out your purpose” and it’s no wonder so many young people feel paralysed by life.
I know many people who have just known, from a young age, what they want to do. And they simply do it, pursuing it with an admirable single-mindedness. Many others simply make a choice of practicality and convenience, even if void of passion.
I am a different story. Since a very young age I have always wanted to do multiple things at once, and even those multiple things did not remain static. Oh no, not me… it was like a carousel of desires rotating in my mind, bringing new ideas every few years.
(There’s only ONE thing I’ve wanted to do consistently through all these years, since about age 8, and that is to WRITE. But that’s not the subject of this essay!)
As I embarked on my spiritual journey some 9 years ago, the question of “What am I MEANT to do?” has been ever present.
To the point that it has become a question which drives me to the brink of despair and meaninglessness. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve twisted myself into knots trying to figure out what my purpose is. Until about two years ago when some (well-meaning) advice to “find my purpose” otherwise I would not be “acting in integrity” led me into a two month spiral that left me feeling like an absolute failure, because I just could not figure it out. Not for lack of choice, but because of too much. There are so many things that call to me, that I am good at, and which feel good to me as a service to the upliftment of humanity.
And then I surrendered. I said fuck this. I no longer care what my purpose is, I’m just going to do whatever feels good to me to do.
In yet another act of compassionate synchronicity from the universe, it was a mere week or two later that a felt compelled to look into the Gene Keys, a body of work transmitted through Richard Rudd and connected to Human Design, Astrology, the I-ching and other esoteric systems. I’ll never forget the moment I read the description for the Gene Key related to my purpose, which is Gene Key 60:
“You will never find your purpose in the past or the future. For you, purpose is always in the here and now. However you feel, whatever you are doing, that is your purpose. The worst thing for you is to ponder the purpose of your life! If you are feeling low, then your purpose lies within that feeling. If you are high and life is bursting with potential, then your purpose is being expressed through your creativity. You are a leaf on the wind — your life does not belong to you but to the stars and the tides and the music of nature. You are an artist and life is your easel. You are a poet and life is your poem. You are the structure, and you have to let life play through you without judging or controlling the music that emerges. There is nothing that you can do or say that will change life, so you may as well just learn to love it and breathe it in every waking moment.”
(taken from genekeys.com)
I cried hot tears of relief as I read those words. There was nothing wrong with me. This aspect of myself is part of my design. Not only do I not have to fight against it, but I can embrace it fully. And as I pondered the words I suddenly realised:
My purpose is nothing more and nothing less than to simply be ME. And part of who I am, my soul blueprint, is to NOT question my purpose, to simply flow with life. What irony! It felt like the grandest, most awesome cosmic joke ever!
You may or may not have Gene Key 60 in your chart, in this position or elsewhere, but I think the lesson that I have learnt about purpose is applicable to many. What I would like to open your mind to today, is a redefining of what the word purpose actually means.
The Oxford dictionary describes purpose as “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” Somewhere along the line we’ve started to believe that one’s purpose is a singular thing, something very specific, something that you have to figure out, and if you don’t… you’re not living your purpose.
Your purpose is to be YOU. Your purpose is to live your life, fully embracing all aspects of yourself, however that manifests.
It’s an interesting nuance, because in following the above concept one could very easily make the mistake of floating through life with no direction or sense of purpose, and as a result feel meaningless and insignificant.
And that’s why I say let’s redefine purpose, not as something that was predetermined for you, but as something you choose. Through truly getting to know yourself, embracing and nurturing your natural affinities, interests, talents, developing skills, you will have an array of options in how to practically apply what you know and are good at. But your purpose doesn’t have to be that one very specific thing. It could be many. Maybe part of the reason for this confusion is the tendency to label it as your purpose rather than simply, purpose.
Another trap one may fall into, once again thanks to the coaching and spiritual communities, is the emphasis placed on being of service. I’m not trying to dispel that idea but as before, let’s just have a little reframe:
Not everyone is built to be a coach or healer. When one has been on a deep inner journey of healing it’s quite natural to gravitate towards wanting to help others, especially if you have a high capacity for empathy. And where that works out, beautiful. But that’s not the only way to be of service.
Have you ever walked into a flower shop and suddenly felt a deep sense of peace and gratitude for natural beauty? That florist was being of service to you, and to life.
Have you ever stood in awe in front of a piece of art? That artist was in service to you, and to life.
Have you ever been to an appointment to take care of some bureaucratic admin that you were dreading, and the woman who helped you was friendly, patient and efficient? That office worker was in service to you, and to life.
I now see purpose as choosing to devote yourself wholeheartedly to something, and inevitably, any work done with devotion and a heart full of love, will be of service in some way, even if at first it doesn’t look like what we’ve been told “service” and “purpose” should look. You might find purpose in your money-earning work, or it might be elsewhere. I also see the deep meaning in finding purpose in raising children, being a good partner, being good to yourself, and enjoying a simple life.
Here’s to you settling deeply into your purpose and service, whether you’ve found it already or are still on the path. I hope that these thoughts give you permission to pursue what calls to you, whether it’s something that lights you up with excitement and passion, or it’s something that simply gives you a sense of security and satisfaction. Whether your purpose lies in one thing for 40 years, or you change it every couple of years. Remember that your purpose never lies in the destination, but in your journey, in discovering and embodying more of who you are, and the beautiful lessons you learn along the way.